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We are joined in this first of two episodes, with Aliza Bulow to talk about suicide awareness. Aliza shares the story of her young son, Doni, who was determined to accomplish his lifelong request of dying by suicide. She gives us insight from a parent that lives with someone with depression and a desire for death by suicide.

Doni was the sixth child of Aliza and her husband and was a charming little boy. From the young age of five he began to articulate that he “did not want to be on this world”. Due to his extreme mental pain, he considered different forms of death and continued to express this goal throughout his young childhood years.  As a teen, he was good looking, smart and had lots of friends and a supportive family. He was a creative thinker, young computer innovator and budding genius, and had a passion for coding for Firefox. He was not disobedient or disruptive, but simply played by his own rules.

Aliza had other children with learning challenges, attention issues, sensory issues, and sleep issues, but nothing was helpful in diagnosing Doni’s symptoms. “He was a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, surrounded by a question mark all the time”. He was diagnosed with extreme depression and bi polar at a young age which prevented any normal functioning and age appropriate learning.

Aliza and her husband tried everything they could do to treat Doni’s diagnosis. Going to psychologists and psychiatrists, having Doni live with his Grandma in a remote forest and even transferred Doni to a school with children having different learning styles didn’t change the fact that Doni’s death was expected.

Aliza came to accept and recognize that Doni was mentally terminally ill, which allowed her to reduce her constant overpowering and crippling worrying and be able to continue to function for the rest of the family and also be available for Doni as best she could.
Sometimes we forget to talk about how hard it is to be a loved one to somebody that is struggling so hard, and we simply may not be able to understand their mind. We might try to help and prevent them from injuring or killing themselves, but we may not be able to actually understand how to comfort them.

These topics are so important for us to be able to support the ones in our life that are going through this journey of suicide thoughts and conversations, suicide attempts, and actual death by suicide.


Topics Discussed:

❏ The importance of acknowledging and having an open communication about depression and mental
❏ What is it like to have a child who has depression which leads to being suicidal
❏ Having the courage to acknowledge that depression is real and kids could even have it even on the
early stages of his life.



“Two parts of comfort. One was for him. And one was for me, frankly.”– Aliza Bulow @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

“There is the relief of the sufferings over for you to not see them suffering. But there is also the relief for me to not worry about it every day.” – Aliza Bulow @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

“Hope is very exciting, it really is that, everything is going to be good. And if it’s not good, it’s not at the end.” – Aliza Bulow @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

“There are people who are very depressed who are never suicidal. And there are people who are not depressed who are suicidal, and that there can be suicidal thoughts that can just be triggered sometimes by medications”- Aliza Bulow @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge


If you need more support in your mental health journey please reach out to us in our private Facebook group. We also offer free 30-minute fitting calls for our coaching program. You do not have to walk through your mental health struggle alone. Because as always, together is better!

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Suicide Hotlines:

USA: 1-800-273-8255
USA Crisis (Text): 741-741
Canada: 1-833-456-4566
United Kingdom: 116-123
Australia: 13-11-14
International Suicide Hotlines:


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