What defines the Olympian who wins the race? Or the artist who every single person marvels at on stage? What defines Oprah, or Van Gogh? Aside from their sheer and God-given talent, I believe that they were also able to look at the rocky road of transition straight ahead of them and still choose to walk it, regardless. It all started with a nudge to change – a call to step into a greater and bigger version of themselves. They chose to follow this nudge.
As I progress through my own life, interview magnificent people and listen to stories of enormous overcoming all on the Hope to Recharge podcast, I find myself continuously in awe of both the undefeatable human spirit and the power of the human mind. Dr. Joe Dispenza speaks on this often – that by the age of 35, 90% of what we do is pure habit. Our brains become accustomed to what we’ve practiced, both unconsciously and consciously for years.
The end result? We call this our lifestyles and ways of being. We define our personalities by these hard-wired habits, not realizing that we are so much more.
If we really and truly knew just how capable we are of weathering the storms of transition and actually achieving the change which is our inherent birthright, we’d stop playing small. Let’s be honest – each and every one of us desires change, be it small or big. Whether we want to shed a few extra pounds, change our mental health lifestyle or even feel called to a new job or city, we are held back by doubt and find ourselves at war between this urge for a greater and bigger US and the mind which is too afraid and convinces us that where we are right now is ‘good enough.’
‘Good enough’ is a size which we outgrow each and every time we choose to see ourselves as more. I don’t blame our minds. Our egos are magnificent. They are hardwired to protect us and send signals of danger when it detects a threat, but we must remember that unfamiliarity can also signal a threat to a conditioned mind. Small lifestyle changes such as choosing to exercise for 30 minutes every single day can also signal the same danger of unfamiliarity. So, do you choose to listen and believe the voice telling you that it’s too painful, that having a healthy body is not really worth it and that you deserve to binge because you work so hard?
Do you keep going?
Do you keep lifting those weights?
Do you try even harder and prove your mind wrong, knowing that you ARE capable, strong and deserving?
As I witnessed my eldest son leaving for Israel this week, I recognized even more clearly how the difficulty lay in the transition through change and always the change itself. The road to change is rocky and painful. I want to remind us all that change is a process. We are shaped through the transition itself and arrive on the other side much better and bigger versions of who we once were. Our egos will step in and long for the familiarity of what once was. Along the way you will grieve and wish that things were different. My heart ached, knowing that I wouldn’t spend suppers and weekends with my eldest son for a while. My heart ached because I miss him dearly.
But the beauty of the transition is that such magnificent metamorphosis occurs when we surrender to it. Suddenly, we don’t just see difficulty and pain. We recognize growth, because in order to arrive at a better and more fulfilled version of ourselves, we have to shed these old ideas and ways of living. We have to witness ourselves letting go, grieving what once was but which no longer belongs.
We outgrow old versions of ourselves continuously and just like that, we arrive. We arrive softly, gently and skillfully.
I believe that this is what many of us are privy to seeing when we witness an athlete or an artist on stage. The end result of their 10,000 hours of effort and surrender is so beautifully summed up in a precise moment of skill and talent. The athlete is no different from you and I. He just chose to persevere and develop greater grit. He saw himself through the eyes of who he could become and not what he was held back by. He believed that he could weather the transition of change.
And we can too.
I believe that we can too.
So how can you weather the transition of change with more grace, softness and surrender, trusting that your character is being shaped each and every step of the way?
I believe in you.
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