We hear the word “Relationships” and our mind immediately jumps to our loved ones, friends and family members. But I implore you to look just a bit deeper than who’s around you to what’s within you. We tend to focus our attention on who surrounds us and requires our daily energy- from our partners, to our children and colleagues. But if you’re aware enough, you may have also noticed that tiny inner voice within you begging for outward expression, leading and guiding you along the way. Creativity or Soul – whatever you choose to name it, what I have come to know is this: When we ignore that tiny inner voice, it only gets louder and louder until we have NO choice but to scream our inner world out loud and live our truth boldly. What society then calls “rebellion”, might just be a means of expressing what has been hidden deep within for so long. The truth is, that when we harness this deep and intimate relationship with ourselves, we find that we always have a home to come back to. No external foundation can ever replace the home which we cultivate within. This home may sometimes carry fear, sadness and an ache which we cannot quite describe, but it’s there and it will never forsake us, for as long as we are breathing and living. Our relationships with ourselves and our own unique inner world is the very safety and comfort which we return to on days when the world seems too busy to care or give us a second glance.
I was spending time in nature recently and happened to look up at the tall, towering trees above my head. When we look up and broaden our perspectives, we realize how vast this world is and how insignificant some of our problems seem. Crown shyness – a phenomenon observed in some tree species in which the crowns of fully stocked trees do not touch each other, can teach us so much about who we truly are. It’s almost as if nature has a unique way of respecting the space that she occupies all while ensuring that she blossoms into all of who she really is, fully and unapologetically. I find it remarkable – each tree is different in her own right and yet also so marvelously caring and respectful of her neighboring tree.
If we take a moment to reflect on where our true joy and peace lies, much of it is unfortunately rooted in pleasing other people including family members, friends and society at large. When I think of what we have come to term as “selfless”, I realize how this word can actually prove to be very detrimental to our authentic sense of self. In its truest form, selflessness requires you to give up a part of your own desires, for the benefit of another. However, in many ways, this can also mean that you compromise your authenticity, needs and desires in order to attain virtue through a “noble” act.
I believe that as Human Beings, our relationship with ourselves should never come second to our obligations to others. When this happens, your True Self is compromised and you teach yourself that your inherent needs and desires don’t even matter. When we put ourselves second, we are too afraid to take up the space which is our inherent birth right here on earth. We are too afraid to flourish, in the belief that it is our role to help our neighboring tree flourish instead.
Instead of setting an example of what a fully blossomed tree looks like, we give our water and nourishment intended for our roots to the tree next to us, in the belief that we do not have a special place here and that our contribution and voice in this busy, overcrowded world is meaningless.
Let’s begin re-evaluating what the term ‘Selfless’ actually means. My intention for myself and for us all, is that we arrive more fully into being “Self-full”. Full of our unique magic. Full of joy, sadness and excitement. Full of who we were essentially born to be here. Full of authenticity. Full of Divine purpose, FULLY realized.
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