Delving deep into the corridors of pain and hurt is no humble journey. In fact, it takes every ounce of courage we have within us NOT to run back and continue as we once had. Welcome to the final part of our series on the ‘HOW’ behind healing. So far, we’ve learnt how to quieten the resistance and tune inwards. We’ve worn the lens of compassion and kindness and we’ve made our way to the box of shame we all carry within.
You’ll be relieved to know that we all carry this box within us.
Instead of embracing it with judgement and criticism which only makes it go even deeper into hiding, I encourage you to hold firm to the lens of compassion, curiosity and gentleness you’ve been wearing all along.
When you look at the outer edges of the box standing right in front of you, you may notice that it looks pretty jagged and peculiar. This is because each and every one of us have our own unique survival mechanisms – we package our pain the best way we know how and leave it tucked deep within. The heavy ball we made contact with in the previous blog post (click here to read) is not what it seems. I assure you that nothing is quite what it seems down here. There’s certainly more light than what currently meets the eye…
Underneath the entangled web of survival mechanisms is your inner child. It’s okay if you’re feeling more emotional than usual right now. Perhaps you haven’t made contact with him/her in decades. Look at their face. Notice the innocence and tenderness. Your eyes may be calling towards you to come closer. Don’t run away. They need you more than every right now.
What is it your younger self is holding in their hands? It looks like an image of how you so desperately hoped life would turn out by now. This may be an image of your family, looking all happy and content, or maybe the job you envisioned yourself having. Whatever it may be, it’s perfectly okay to grieve what life may have handed you instead. You’ve been granted gifts to help us get this far and without it, none of us would’ve known the beauty of healing.
Listen to what your younger you has to say. How are they feeling? What worries are they carrying? If they’re afraid, hold them and remind them you’re still here. If they’re angry, allow them to voice their anger and don’t leave their side. If they’re sad, listen with softness. We don’t have to offer any solutions right now. Our biggest offering is our presence. Remain calm, present and aware in a way a loved one needs your attention. You are your own sacred loved one right now.
Once you’ve allowed the younger you to express themselves, ask them what they need from you and then be willing to listen. You’re now a resourced adult and can actually meet the needs of your inner child in a way perhaps your parents once couldn’t. If you’re ready, make a small promise to yourself to pay deeper attention to your inner child more often. If what they need from you is not to betray yourself any longer, dedicate more practice to self-love and compassion. If they need to express their hurt and pain, remove the wall you’ve built to protect yourself from perceived hurt and the fear of falling apart.
You’re allowed to remain here for as long as you want.
Your inner child is always accessible to you, ready and waiting for your attention.
Notice the sensations you’re feeling in your body. Notice any small inklings of relief or resistance.
I’m so proud of you.
You’ve began the journey back inwards again.
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