“Nothing will change until you do.”
I found myself coming across this quote by Mike Robbins as I sifted through my inbox, bursting with new year’s resolutions emails and texts, wishing everybody a blessed and healthy 2022. I find it incredible that not only do we now simply wish others joy and ease, but that we’ve also come to appreciate the importance of our health at large. The pandemic, no matter how difficult and heart-wrenching, has also brought a new appreciation to light – that our bodies, minds and hearts cannot ever be taken for granted. Health is truly our greatest wealth and most valuable asset and this includes our mental health and deep, personal and intimate relationships we have with ourselves. In order to recognise that we’re struggling either emotionally or physically, we first need to be willing to pay attention to the little signs and messages our bodies and minds are communicating to us.
When we consider change, we’re often inspired by a worthwhile goal to achieve and this is exactly why new year’s resolutions can sound so tempting. New year’s resolutions carry within them the seed of ‘more.’ This seed of inspiration hits us like wildfire and where we once felt depleted and uninspired, we now commit to shifting something within us which we know needs newness. Our WHY’S for a fresh start are all different. I remember committing to significant change in the midst of my very own depression and anxiety almost a decade ago. It was so incredibly difficult and there were days where I just didn’t feel like I could do it, but I still carried on and made it through regardless.
While you probably have a few new years resolutions which you’re hopeful to achieve this year, I would like to invite you to turn your resolutions into simple reflections and opportunities for growth and change. Why? Because a resolution itself is born out of a deep desire for change, but sometimes it also places unhealthy pressure on us to achieve unrealistic goals, without also appreciating that we’re human and that it’s okay and even normal to fall off the bandwagon of self-growth and healing from time to time. If you’re anything like me, developing a new routine and starting to implement new habits are going to include a few failures, moments of self-doubt and feeling like giving up. The true glory is not in listening to these voices, but in using them as fuel to continue onwards.
“Nothing will change until you do.”
We change, not because it is easy. Rarely is worthwhile change ever easy! Instead, the very change we seek emerges through the painful transition itself (read our previous blog on transition here). In this way, our growth is not just an end result of sheer dedication and commitment to a worthwhile goal.
The change is in feeling like you’ll never make it out of depression and still committing to the arduous process of therapy each week.
The change is in struggling with communication in your relationships and still committing to listening a bit better when your loved ones speak to you each day.
The change is in struggling with your weight and still committing to move your body more, recognizing that it’s okay if you still binge eat from time to time. The change is in forgiveness of yourself each and every time that harsh, critical inner voice tries to convince you that you’re never good enough and that you’re a failure. The real change is shifting how we speak to ourselves, how we treat ourselves, how we love ourselves, how we nurture ourselves and just how much forgiveness we’re willing to offer to ourselves.
I believe that each of us carries two important voices within us: the voice of the heart and the voice of the ego which is often based on past conditioning and survival. Change requires us to witness the voice of the ego, while going forth in the direction of the heart’s guidance. That little voice which lives inside of you which knows what you’re truly capable of, always edging you towards more and coming alive within you from time to time – that is your path of change calling your name. What you seek is within reach, no matter how many obstacles are in your way and no matter how many people can’t see possibility for you. Possibility is a personal vision gifted to us to transform only what we can hear our hearts calling us more towards.
The change you seek calls you because it is your call. It was designed for you.
As we embrace 2022, it’s important to remember that it’s okay if your heart still hurts from time to time. What does however change is your willingness to finally face and embrace pain with greater courage, presence and gratitude.
When we embrace new years in this way, the question then changes from:
‘How do I make 2022 my best year yet?’
which can often feel very pressurizing and daunting to something softer, gentler and more possible, such as:
‘How can I use the new year as an opportunity to address old pains?’
Moving forward is not just about letting go. We’re always going to carry a part of who we were into tomorrow with us. It’s what molds us, shifts us and also gifts us with the valuable tools of learning how to navigate this world, based on past experience. When we look at our pasts as providing us with a valuable skill set needed to make it through, we can also use it to help shift and propel us forward later on in our lives.
If you take a look at all areas of your life, from your relationships, to your job, to your emotional wellbeing and physical health, you’ll notice just one single constant: You. You are your greatest privilege and asset and it’s time to start investing in the most valuable and worthwhile gift you carry around with you wherever you go. Don’t abandon yourself any longer. Stop, breathe and commit to listening more deeply. Listen to what your mind, body and heart are each telling you, because I can guarantee you that they’re all constantly speaking to you, waiting for you to finally pay attention.
What part of yourself still hurts? Who do you need to work on forgiving? What boundaries need to be set with others? How can you commit to saying Yes to yourself for a change?
These deep reflections are often exactly what is needed to help us transition through our change.
Never underestimate your change. When you change, your relationships change. Your self-esteem changes. Your job satisfaction changes. Other people are inspired and change through you.
Your change has the most profound ripple effect not just on you, but on humanity at large.
In each moment of deep reflection and choosing to listen to the voice of the heart, instead of the mind, you are reborn. Your neurochemistry changes. Your heart softens. Your intuition speaks louder and you move with greater faith and confidence. That is the gift you offer back to yourself. The greatest goal which we can achieve in each year is choosing to no longer abandon ourselves and focusing on our own needs, desires and dreams.
You don’t need to live in survival mode anymore. Wat if you put down your armor and simply recognized that you’ve already survived? Old patterns and ways of being no longer serve the new you. It’s time to use what happened as your sword of faith instead of your shield of armor preventing you from experiencing the beauty and joy of this earth.
I believe that you’re capable of your own change. I believe that you can shift what needs shifting. I believe that it’s all dormant within you, waiting for your permission to come alive.
And it’s time to finally live life with a greater sense of ALIVENESS.
“Nothing will change until you do.”
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