A day in my life as a Mom!

Family means so, so much to me. Being a mother is a role which I don’t take lightly. It comes with a responsibility which transcends my daily duties – the responsibility of carrying my own heart and life’s purpose alongside that of my children’s, the responsibility of walking alongside them and teaching them what it means to live with courage and the responsibility of watching them unfold into the magnificent beings who they’re meant to truly be with full presence, each and every day. Being a mother is more than just a role to me. It’s a state of Being.

Yesterday, my heart was filled with so many different emotions. I grew up in Israel and moved to America when I got married, 20 years ago. My family and I are incredibly close and I’m the only one who lives all the way over here. And I try to do my very best to travel as much as possible for all the big occasions because I believe in celebrating the gift of life, together. I always say that if I could travel for, God forbid any tragedy, then I can certainly travel for a celebration too!

There were two very important weddings in my family which I would have loved to attend, but God made it very clear to me that it wasn’t my time to be in Israel right now. One of my sons graduated from 8th grade on the day of the wedding, while the other is graduating from 12th grade on Thursday. I would never miss it for the world – celebrating my children are such deeply ingrained core values within me that when I found out, I said ‘Thank You God for making it so clear.

Thank you for making my decision so much easier for me.’ But that doesn’t mean that yesterday morning was easy for me, No. There were certainly moments of sadness and feelings of missing out on the family wedding, but I also felt so grateful for the blessing of technology and being able to witness it over Zoom.

I had a full day yesterday. I had to plan some meetings, see clients and record, plan the pre-graduation dinner and run some errands, AND I had to be present to the emotion of excitement with my 3-year-old, as we went to see the train as we do every single day, on our way back from school. And there’s more. My 18-year-old is also getting ready to go to Israel and so I had to be emotionally there for him too, while trying to fully grasp the realization that my eldest son is actually leaving soon and moving there for a gap year.

And so, here’s what I want to say to you – Our days can be filled with so many different emotions all at the very same time and we can choose to actively witness them and engage with them wherever we’re at, without drowning in them. I feel lucky – lucky that I get to choose my life, where I want to live, what I want to do with my kids and where I want to be. And because I am so open to grasping with both hands the small, yet significant joys which surround me on a daily basis, I greet and welcome in the sadness when she visits too. She belongs, and I know that she’s not here to stay for too long. I know that she’s here to remind me of the beauty of being fully human. And that’s a powerful lesson for each and every one of us – that when we engage with life with full presence, we don’t protect ourselves from pain, hurt and feelings of sadness. We welcome them in. We allow them to sit alongside our joys and for both to ease their way through our hearts.

We allow ourselves the resilience and strength of shifting though and navigating each day with all of the emotion which life has to offer to us.

I want to always celebrate my loved ones. I want to show up as a fully present mother, sister, wife and daughter. I want to give all of me to those whom I love, unconditionally. It’s my nature – giving with a full and open heart. And, I want to always show up as Matana too. I want to be present and as open to receiving, as I am to giving too. This week, the decision which I needed to make was about the best place which I needed to be and that is exactly what I received. More often than not, God makes decisions simple for us and that is a gift for us too.

When we live with awareness we can see clear direction for God and I try to see them with an open grateful heart for what IS, with no expectations, when we are opened WE OFTEN get to FEEL AND SEE THE WORDS
וּלְפִי הֵעָלֹת הֶעָנָן מֵעַל הָאֹהֶל וְאַחֲרֵי כֵן יִסְעוּ בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל … עַל פִּי ה’ יִסְעוּ בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל וְעַל פִּי ה’ יַחֲנוּ

I feel so blessed!