Finding My Orthodox Authenticity (Solo)

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There has been a lot of talk on social media about the Netflix show My Unorthodox Life these last couple weeks, and it has brought up a lot of different emotions for me. I thought I had healed from my upbringing, but I have found that I am still broken. After listening to others express their feelings for several days, I wanted to share how it has made me feel and what I have learned from this experience.

My authentic self doesn’t necessarily fit anywhere. I felt attacked by both sides of the argument because I follow Orthodox Judaism, but I don’t always hold up the traditions or view things as expected. There is a tremendous price to pay for living your authentic self in a community where you are rebuked for even thinking differently from the standard. But the price you pay for abandoning your authentic self is even greater than the risk of losing your community.

These last couple weeks brought up a lot of hurt from the past and made me feel threatened all over again, but it also emphasized what a great community I have built as my authentic self of people who will listen to me without judging and offer their support. I am so grateful to those that have been helping me process this pain. My emotions emphasized the ways I might be judging and hurting others. The things I was hurt by are a good indicator of how I cause pain, and I have begun to work through how I can do better. How can I have compassion towards all these people who are reacting out of fear?

If we can go through life and not judge others, but listen to understand, maybe our world can become a more accepting place. If we each make an effort to not suffocate our own authentic selves or those around us, perhaps people will feel less afraid. We each must try to be the person others feel comfortable sharing their deepest feelings and thoughts with, even if those thoughts do not agree with what is true for us personally.

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Links:
Dr. Demartini Forgiveness & Gratitude
Complaint-free World
How to Leave a Review on i-Tunes

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Quotes:

“Bottom line: everybody wants to be validated. We all want clarity, and we all want to relieve the pain that is sitting in our body, in our mind, in our hearts.” @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

“There is no greater anti-Semitism than not seeing one another.” @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

“Whatever pains you in somebody else is something that you need to work on yourself. Look in the mirror.” @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

“If no one hired me as a judge, I will keep my mouth shut. I will just judge my own feelings, my insecurities, my shame, my sadness, my healing.” @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

“Living your authentic self is the ultimate freedom.” @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharg

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Topics Discussed:

Listening to understand, not to respond
Choosing to live as your authentic self
Forgiveness and gratefulness for hurts
Recognizing that you feel hurt in the way you hurt others
How to co-exist and be unified with people whose truth is different from yours

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Suicide Hotlines:

USA: 1-800-273-8255
USA Crisis (Text): 741-741
Canada: 1-833-456-4566
United Kingdom: 116-123
Australia: 13-11-14
International Suicide Hotlines:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

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